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#2 My first friend?

This is the point in my life where i met someone that tried to help me.

Hello fellow bloggers and readers! after starting to talk abit about my story yesterday I decided to continue from where i left of in #1, there won’t really be to much of and introduction as i will just jump right into it and try my very best to keep you as a reader interested at the same time!

As i was waiting for my parents to come home i would just sit on the front porch, not really feeling well after the beating i just took, i could barely hold the tears in and was afraid for them to find me again. As i sat on the porch i was trying to find a comfortable position to sit in. This is when i noticed the bush that blocked us off from our neighbours started moving, you could say i was a bit terrified incase those kids had followed me back from school.
As he came through the bushes he looked straigt at me and asked “Are you ok?!”
I was still beaten up and thought about what they said if i told anybody about what had happened to me things would be worse. I told him “everything was alright, i just had an accident and fell of my bike when riding the large downhill from school.”

I wasn’t quite sure if he believed me or not, but i didn’t want to take the risk of them finding out in anyway, that was my first lie, and i can still remember it clear as day “Everything is allright!” 

He walked me around the bush and over to their property, and their garden was guite big, they had a small pool and a trampoline including a very large tree where they had put a swing made out of rope and tire. His parents called out to him from the house, asking where he was, and thats when they noticed me, the new kid, the one that moved to the house nextdoor.

Both of his parents started asking if everything was allright, cause in someway they could see it in me that i was in pain. Even that didn’t really help me much to come forward with whad had happened that day. and his is when i reapeated that lie i told earlier: “Everything is allright!”

The neightbour kid asked for my name and what class i was in as we were all walking towards his house in order to get something to drink as we waited for my parents to come home. They would probably think about all the dangers that might have happened alonside the road, and why i shouldn’t walk from school in the middle of the day.
If only i was able to open up and thell them what happened they would probably understand the things i did, but unfortunately i was to afraid of the concequences of what would happen if it got out that i had told my parents about this.. and the worst part about it was the fact that i actually had to lie about how i actually whent and how i felt about things.

Even my neighbours could see that something was wrong i that i probably wasn’t as happy as i could have been.  i didn’t really have that smile that the other kids had, i was very quiet, even for them!

But now as you have met them i will fast forward a little bit in order to keep blogpost nr 2 running, otherwise it would take way to long!

After a qouple of weeks we seemed to become very close friends, we would hang out at school and do all kinds of stuff together when was together, and it seemed like a very good friendship until the day came when he was over to visit. we decided to go cutting down some chives from the garden so that we could either eat them or try to use them in something else. As soon as we got there i could see a large stack of chives, i grabbed my hand around it and was ready to pull it up og just try to get it out of the ground, this is when he tok a pair of large siccors as he looked at me “hold it steady”
And i was actually as steady as anything else in the world, but then he managed to cut my finder in 2, started screaming when i was walking towards the house, i looked at him where he said that if i told anyone that he did it on purpose him and his best friend would find me, no matter where on the planet i moved. after this day it was no longer just the kids from my class but it was also the neighbour and some other kid that i hadn’t seen before, but apparantly he went in 7th grade at the same school as us,  which might have been why i never saw him as this was at the otherside of the building.

Those 2 people would make things worse for everyday, not just in school but also every single day after. so now it wasn’t enought for me to gett bullied, kicked, and punched when i was at shcool, i had to undergo a living hell with there two at the homefront aswell.. i really didn’t know what to do anymore. they would force me to drink things such as soap, and would throw me into the ground or just hit because they were bored and needed something to do. i was the easiest target for them.. I was in 1st. grade, my neighbour in 3rd. and his friend was in the 7th. I counldn’t exactly fight against them off  either, there was more of them, and they would make sure to keep me down if i ever tried to talked to anybody. So as you can see now, almost all 1st. grade i was telling them the lie that everyone needed to hear: “Everything is allright!” 

This is the end of #2, and i will post a new one as soon as i have time!
Have a good weekend everybody, and always try to spread posivity to others, cause you never know who needs it the most!

– Beautiful Breakdown

#1 The hard beginning.

This comes from someone who has been bullied since he started in elementary school, and he starts explaining everything from there, blogpost by blogpost.

Hello! To be honest i’m not quite sure to start with this, cause it’s a very heavy/emotional topic for me to talk about, and i have never really opened up to anyone about my problems before this year, but i will give it a try! And the whole thing wont come out in one big blog post, but more as a few moderate once.

So it started when i was in elementary school, the first week or so started out quite good, We were trying to get to learn each other’s names and try to get some friends in the class and when we were outside. But for me that wasn’t really easy, already from day 1 i was the quiet one in class, i never actually said a word unless i was spoken to and everyone thought that i was wierd or looked in a funny way.

So, already during the first week people would start calling me names, which i didn’t really care to much about in the beginning, but still i wasn’t excited to hear how ugly or stupid i was first thing in the morning. But when this went on for a month, things started to get a little bit worse for me psychologically, as I started to think that i wasn’t worth enough to have any friends, that no one actually cared for me except my parents.
From that day on i started to spend every recess i had in the forest that was quite close to the school, just in order for me to be alone and finally get a moment of silence. I would even wait until everyone had walked back into their classes before i even managed to walk up to the school, and this is even before the worst had even started.

It was actually very quiet during the class, but as i was waiting for the next recess i could literally feel my whole body shaking and i managed to cry infront of the whole classroom because i was so afraid of what would happen next, what had i done wrong for people to hate me like this?

My teacher actually went up to me and brought me out to the hallway to ask me what was wrong, and i told her what had happened to me during my time at school and that i really didn’t feel well at all and just wanted to go home. She asked me who was calling me names and such, and of course i told her who they were. Instead of sending me home she followed me up to the principal’s office so that i could tell him what had happened, and what i didn’t know was that she went up to get the people who were bullying me so that we could sort it out.

As i sat with the principal with tears in my eyes and not wanting to tell what had happened again i could see that my teacher brought the ones that were calling me names, and you can all probably guess what happened from here? cause as i said, things started out quite good.
When they saw me sit there i could almost feel unwelcome and that i really had done something i shouldn’t have. Once they stood infront of me and the principal i could see them looking towards me, and of course my teacher told him the whole story and they were all forced to apologize to me.

We went back to the classroom and sat there for a couple of minutes before the recess started again, and this time i was really afraid of going out of the classroom, but i managed to do it, and i ran towards the forest hoping that they wouldn’t find me there. After i got there and i sat down it didnt really take long for them to come over there aswell. I didn’t really know what to do at this point, so i just sat there in shock looking at them. One of them had a large piece of wood with him that was almost the lenght of a baseball bat. They just looked at me and asked “why did you tell them?”
All i could really say to them was that the teacher had asked me to, and they really didn’t like that answer.

They actually started kicking and punching me, but luckily he threw away the piece of wood that he had before going towards me. As they were doing this they started calling me names again, and i was laying there on the ground and crying once more that day. As they were finished my whole body hurt, and they told me that if i were to tell anyone about this again, things would get worse for me. I had never felt more threatened before, and i couldn’t hold the tears back as i was laying there in pain and hurting all over. Now this is when things started to get alot worse, and i was to scared to actually tell anyone about it.

As soon as i got up from the ground i started walking home instead of going back to school, and my tears was still running but the worst of it was over and i could actually see what was infront of me instead of the blur that came from the tears.

As soon as i came home there was no one there, cause my parents was at work.

And this is the end of this blogpost! There will be more soon, and it will be continued from where i left off, so don’t you worry, more is to come!

And i have to say that it actually feels good to get these things off my chest, even though it’s just a small part of it.